Emmett's Home Video's!
by MangoTango450
Summary: Emmett, being Emmett, decided that he was bored one evening, so he got video cameras and started filming, but nothing awesome was going on, so he took things into his own hands and started pranking people! R&R.
1. ChainEffect!:JailBird

**Okay peoplez!This is MangoTango450's new story!This is a Twilight Fic where Emmett cause's quit a bit of trouble, as you know I take forever to write more chapters to my stories and to those who don't then now you know ;-)**

**Shout outs!: SnappleApple450 ;-p , Midnight-Moonlight-Hottie(YOUR AWESOME!), and to all of those that have read this!THANK YOU, YOU ALL ARE FULL OF AWESOMENESS!.**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**Fortune Cookie: You do not own Twilight.**

**Me: WTF?!**

**Me: Uh okay I don't own Twilight.**

Chain Effects!:

Edward/Bella/Charlie.

"Shhhhh!"I told Jasper.

The stupid Idiot was going to blow our cover, If he made any noise.

Outside of Bella's house, we were waiting for Edward to go hunt squirrels, so we could go inside.

Ah huh!

There he is, his sneaking out and...His gone!

I looked at Jasper and made the hand signal to move out.

We sneaked inside of Bella's room, "man this place is boring"I thought.

Turning to Bella's sleeping form, I got out a video camera and turned it on.

I nodded my head at Jasper and we got ready to make a quick get away.

Jasper pulled out a Blow Horn and some Tape, he pressed the Tape down on the Blow Horn threw it on Bella's bed and then we Fled, all this done in under two seconds.

Running away to a Place I like to call the Shack I turned on the hidden Cameras that I had set up and watched the show.

*CAMERAS*

Bella woke up Screaming her lungs out and Edward came back to the room with a worried expression, He saw the can and pulled off the Tape silence rang out of the room"Everything is okay Love"Edward comforted while walking over to Bella.

Suddenly Charlie BUSTED through the door with a gun, pointing at Edward Charlie yelled"Hands up!Don't Move!".

Bella screamed again.

*Jasper and I were laughing our asses off*

Charlie finished cuffing Edward and started taking him out off to his Police Cruiser, all the while Bella was saying that it wasn't Edward that was to blame.

*Jasper and I where dying all over again*

Edward got in the car and Charlie got in too.

*I switched to the Camera that I had put in Charlies Cruiser*

Edwards head was hung, but it looked like he was trying to piece together who threw the Blow Horn in Bella's room.

"Edward I expected better then what you just did"Charlie began.

"I'm sorry mister Swan, I assure you that nothing was going on and I had nothing to do with that Blow Horn"Edward desperately tried, but it came out all wrong.

Sighing Charlie continued"I'm going to have to call your parents and talk to them about you and Bella".

Edward didn't even try to explain so he just stayed quiet and waited to be but in Jail for the night.

*Emmett's POV*

"WOW that was funny!"I told Jasper, who was still holding his sides laughing.

"I say!We should do that again!"Jasper choked out.

"Yeah!"I said bouncing a little.

*At School the next day**Edwards POV*

My Bella came running into my arms," thank goodness Esme convinced Charlie to let Bella and I stay together"I thought.

"Wow they let you out so soon JailBird?"Emmett said with a wide grin.

"Shut up!"I snapped.

"Whats wrong Eddie?You upset that Charlie caught you doing the dirty with Bella?"Bella Blushed at Emmett's words.

I growled at Emmett, then something suddenly hit me.

Hey wait a minute where was Emmett when this happened?

I turned to Emmett"Where were you last night?"I asked with suspicion.

_A picture of the book the Shack._

"The Shack"Emmett said quickly.

I stared at him with a look that said"Are you serious?".

Emmett smiled.

I shot him one last look before walking away.

While walking to class, Bella suddenly said"Hey doesn't Mike have a Blow Horn just like that one we found in my room?".

Fin.

* * *

**Soooooooo?Was it funny?Review Pleeeeeease!Tell Meh if it was funny!**

**Love:MT.**


	2. SuperShort!:Poker

**I'm on a Roll!**

**Shout outs!:To all my buds that go on FanFiction! Love Y'all! To all that have read my story so far, THANKS!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Fortune Cookie:Your story sucks!**

**Me:Oh thanks!**

**Fortune Cookie:I was trying to insult you.**

**Me:OMG!A talking Fortune Cookie!**

**Me:Wait!I forgot about the Disclaimer!I don't own Twilight.**

SuperShort!:

Emmett/Jasper.

*Emmett's POV*

Hahaha Jasper lost the game of Poker so now he has to go through with the bet!

Jasper walked up to Mike Newtons front door,I had the camera zoomed in to Jasper's embarrassed face.

Jasper knocked on the door and waited a few minutes, the door finely opened to Mikes mother"Yes?"She asked.

"Hello ma'am may I please speak with Mike?"Jasper asked.

"Yes hold on just a minute"She said and walked away.

"Yeah what do you want Cullen?"Mikedemanded ,once he reached the door.

"I love you"Jasper answered.

The door slamed in Jaspers face.

I started laughing hard but I decided that that wasn't funny enough, so I grabbed some spray paint and wrote in big letters on Mike's front yard"YOU CAN'T HIDE WHATS INSIDE!".

Now Jasper was laughing with me.

We were driving away when Jasper said"Lets play Texan'Hold'em!".

I grinned.

*One hour later*

"Hello?"Mike said.

"I love you"I told Mike.

The Door slammed in my face.

**END.**

* * *

**Funny?**

**Please Review**

**Love:MT.**


	3. MessingWithLifeClubbingLikeIKnowYouWould

**Ya all know the reason why I'm shooting chapters out so fast?Because I have Ideas ;-) I still have about six ideas that will be made into chapters, but please don't hesitate to PM me stuff and it can be totally random ;-)**

**Shout Outs!:All my buddies on fanfiction and to all those that are reading my story's, LUV YOU AND THANK YOU!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Fortune Cookie:The future for Bella is shaky.**

**Me:What do you mean Magical cookie?**

**Fortune Cookie:...**

**Me: Poor Bella...**

**I do not own Twilight saga, I'm just messing with the Cullens.**

MessingWithLife!: Clubbing like I know you would.

Bella.

*Emmett POV*

know how the last time I was in Bella's room I thought it was Boring? Well I fixed that.

"Emmett are you watching the paint dry?"Jasper asked me.

"Hold on this the best part! Ok yeah I was watching the paint dry"I answered Jasper.

"Whyyyyy?"Jasper wanted to know.

"I was bored"I shrugged.

"Hey Emmett maybe we shouldn't have redone the whole house..."Jasper said.

"Aww, but it looks Awesome!"I whined.

"Yeah your right! Oh well, so who should we invite?"Jasper asked.

"Oooh!Oooh!I know lets invite everyone except Lauren and Mike!"I yelled.

"Hahaha Ya!"Jasper agreed.

*Two Hours l8r*

"Okay we got silly string, glow sticks, crazy hats, glitter, beer, crazy wigs, beer, ring pops, beer, Glow in the dark paint, teqelia."I finished off the head count.

"Good and I just finished up the Club"Jasper said.

I looked around and I thought it wasn't too bad, florescent lights, blue/green/brown walls(Green was glow in the dark paint), we put different carpet in the house too,I had also set up cameras in all the rooms, every thing was perfect, now all that was left is for the guest's to come.

"Well, Lets Get It started in here!"Jasper yelled.

*Two Hours l8r*

_Here we Go, Here we Go, satillite radio!_

_Y'all gettin'hit with Boom Boom_

_Beats so big I'm steppin on leprechauns!_

"This is awesome!"I shouted towards Jasper.

"I say!"He replied/shouted.

I saw the front door open and Bella and Edward were standing there with wide eyes.

I walked over to them"Hey Guys!"I shouted.

"EMMETT WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HOUSE?!"Bella shrieked.

"Well at first I was just redoing your room but then one thing led to another and we ended up with this party!"I told her happily.

"Emmett what about when Charlie gets home?!"Bella Asked/Shouted.

"All taken care of..."I told her mysteriously.

"Emmett you can't just throw a party in my house!"Bella Exclaimed.

"Oh Bella don't be so 2000 and late!Be 3000 and Eight!"I yelled at her.

Edward looked ready to kill me, so I thrust my self back into the crowd.

"Yeah! Jasper Pump it!"I shouted at Jasper who was on the Dance Floor.

He suddenly stopped and pulled out his phone"HELLO?"He Shouted into the phone.

"Jasper!How Could You Throw A party And Not Invite Us?!!!"Alice Yelled.

I was making and signals to Jasper telling him to hang up"What?!I can't hear you I'll call you back!"Jasper Shouted and hanged up the phone.

Jasper and I looked at each other then gulped.

I grabbed some punch and went to Bella"Hey Bella I got you some punch!"I shouted handing Bella a big cup of Punch.

She still looked mad but excepted the Punch"Thanks Emmett!"She Shouted.

Edward was starting to unwined Finely too.

Edward Growled at me, I just smiled and shimmied away, which Bella was laughed at me for doing so.

I went into what used to be the living room and found Jasper on stage starting to sing and do DJ,

Nobody gave a damn about Jaspers Crappy Raping, but all of a sudden People started running to the stage hopping up and down demanding Jasper to do more.

I looked at him from across the room and he winked at me, That's when it hit me, Jasper was using his powers!

Jasper started up another song that I was listening to untill somebody bumped into me"Hey Watch it!"I started to yell but realized that it was Bella"Hi Bells!You enjoying the party?!"I asked/Shouted.

She stumbled and said"Whoooo!Party!Do you Want to Party Emmett?!".

"I wanna party do you want to party Bella?!"I answered/Asked/Shouted.

"I s'wanna Party do Ya want to Party Emmett?!"Bella Replied/Asked/Slurred.

"I wanna Party! Do you want to par-"I was cut off.

"EMMETT?!WHAT WAS IN THAT PUNCH?!"Edward yelled, Walking over to me.

"GREY GOOSE!"I yelled back.

We both stopped there because Bella just went up to some random guy and kissed him (Not the peck on the cheek kind either).

Something in Edward must of snapped because he went up to that guy and punched him.

Bella stared for a minute at what just happened, then walked up to another random guy and kissed him.

Edward walked up and punched him.

Bella Kissed a few other guys and stepped next to me, we watched Edward go and punch the guys she kissed.

I was about to say something to Bella but I was interrupted.

"Hi were like the Exotic dancers you like asked for"a lady said.

"What?!We didn't hire any Dancers!Especially not the Exotic kind!"I said.

They started to dance around, slowly removing clothes.

"No we didn't ask for you"I shouted, Trying to button up the girls top.

"EMMETT!!!WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT SKANK!"Rosalie yelled.

"Oh shit"I mumbled realizing what this must looks like.

After getting beaten up by Rosalie, I went back to the DJ room only to find every one crying.

"JASPER!Why is everyone crying?!"I asked.

"Oh sorry, I started to sing "Hate me-Blue October"Jasper answered.

I groaned and all of a sudden somebody smacked me on the head"S'Could've haaad ah Veee Eight!"Bella slurred out then started laughing uncontrollably.

Man this is more work then I thought...

Hey wheres Edward?

Edward was duct taped to the wall, even Vampires can't get past the Evil Duct Tape...

"Hey Eddie!Walls wrong?!"I laughed taking Picture's.

"EMMETT GET ME DOWN!!!hey wheres Bella?"Edward yelled/asked.

* * *

*Camera*

"Lumps my S'lovely ladies bumps"Bella slurred while dancing on stage.

* * *

"I don't know!"I told him.

The front door opened"WHATS GOING ON HERE!!!"Charlie yelled.

"Oh Shit".

*Two days L8r*

*Bella's POV*

Finely I can use my own bathroom.

I turned on the light but instead of regular light it was fluorescent and my Hair started Glowing Neon Pink.

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".

**END.**

* * *

**Funny?**

**Please Review ;-)**

**Love:MT.**


	4. SuperShort!:Spy Cam!

**You all know what's going on ;-)**

**Shout Outs:Thank you EveryBody!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me:Hey wheres the Cookie?**

**Me:*In Mental Hospital*Its not the same!**

**Me:*Released from Mental Hospital*Huh the smell of freedom!**

**Me:What just happened?**

**I do not own the Twilight saga.**

SuperShort!:Spy Cam!

Emmett/Jasper.

*Emmett POV.*

"Yeah!It finely came in!"I yelled.

Jasper came running"Its in?"He asked.

"Yeah!"I boomed.

"Now we can go spy on Bella and she'll never know because of our new Spy Camera Pen!"I said hopping up n down.

"Uhh Emmett that's a pen camera, it just takes pictures"Jasper said.

I looked down, DAMN.

*Five Days L8r*

"Yeah!It finely came in!"I yelled.

Jasper came running"Its in?"He asked.

"Yeah!"I boomed.

"Now we can go spy on Bella and she'll never know because of our new Spy Camera Pen!"I said hopping up n down.

"Uhh Emmett that's really just a pen"Jasper said.

I looked down, MOTHER F*****.

*Five Days L8r*

"Yeah!It finely came in!"I yelled.

Jasper came running"Its in?"He asked.

"Yeah!"I boomed.

"Wait!What were we going to do with a Video Camera Spy Pen?".

**Fin.**

**Funny?**

**Please Review.**

**Love:MT.**


	5. MessingWithLife!:Shopping Trip

**Shout outs: I don't feel like writing all the names down...Or to think ;-) So Thank you all of You!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me:OMIGAWD I ATE THE FORTUNE COOKIE!**

**I do not own the Twilight Saga.**

MessingWithLife:Shopping Trip!

Emmett/Jasper/Rosalie.

*Emmett POV*

Aww, were going to Ulta with Rosalie and its going to be sooooooo boring, hey wait a minute I can Bring my Spy Pen!

"Rosalieeeeee! Do we have to go with you?!"I asked for the hundredth time...

Yay! I can count to one hundred!

"Emmett shut up!"Rosalie yelled.

I shut up.

*Jasper POV*

Emmett punched me"SLUG BUG!"Emmett yelled.

"SON OF A B****!!!"I yelled.

Rosalie snapped.

"If you guys don't sit and be quiet there will be trouble"She said menacingly.

We shut up after that.

*twenty minutes later**Emmett POV*

Wow that was the longest twenty five minutes of my life from our house to Ulta!

We walked into the store and my vampire sence of smell went into overload.

"Okay guys I'm going to get my hair done, so don't do anything stupid!"Rosalie commanded.

"Okayyyyy"I said with a pout.

With that Rosalie stalked off, Man I love her.

"Soooooo, you want to go see if they have any good cologne?"Jasper asked.

"Sure"I shrugged.

At the perfume section Jasper started smelling different cologne's and I was immediately over come with boredom.

I picked up a vile and sniffed it, YUK!

That's disgusting, People wear that?!

Then I saw its name "Jacob Black, Vile of Love" I started cracking up.

A smile came on my face as I looked at Jasper, I walked up to him and Sprayed him with the Cologne"Haha now you smell like Jacobs LOVE"I boomed.

"Eww!Get it off me!"Jasper yelled.

Then Jasper grabbed a Vile and sprayed me"Now you smell like a women's Caresse!"Jasper said with a smug smile.

"Oh yeah well now you smell like Making love in midnight rain!"I told him while spraying the Cologne.

"Well you smell like...Black Jack, Fresh in Vegas!"Jasper sprayed me.

"What kind of name is that?!"I wanted to know.

"I don't know...But what I do know is that were having a perfume fight!"Jasper said and grabbed two vials, I did the same and it was on!

*Ulta Worker POV*

"Hey Sam go to the perfume section, We have some kids playing over there"Allen told me.

"Okay, right away"I said before walking over to the perfume section.

"Pss!Pss!psh!Pss!Psh!Take that!And that!"I heard before a cloud of Perfume and Cologne hit me.

*Emmett POV*

Hahaha!I stopped and Jasper kept spraying me, "Jasper!Somebodies coming!"I whispered.

"Take That!And That!"Jasper yelled.

I grabbed his hand and I ran out of that section.

We ended up in the lipstick department, I walked up to a random lady"Honey, that shade is sooooo not you'll Color!"I told her.

"What?But I always get this color, you guys even recommended it"The lady said.

"Ugh so thats why you look like that!"I said before walking away.

Jasper was laughing really hard when I went back to the aisle.

Next stop was the Nail Polish Aisle.

*Ten Minutes L8r*

"Oooh Jasper your rainbow nails are soooooo pretty!"I told Jasper.

"Emmett your Nails are just rainderfull!"Jasper told me.

"What?"I asked.

but Jasper was already up"Make-Up Section!"He yelled.

*Five minutes L8r*

Jasper grabbed some Blush and put a whole bunch on"Look at me I'm Bella!"Jasper mocked.

I grabbed some white powder and put it on"Look at me I'm Edward!"I boomed.

"Emmett you idiot you all ready look that white"Jasper told me.

"Oh".

*Five Minutes L8r*

"How do you work a hair straightener?"I asked Jasper.

"Uh you crimp your hair in that metal part, I saw Alice do that with Bella once"Jasper explained.

I picked one up and plugged it in.

*Ten Minutes L8r*

Worse idea EVER! My hair had caught on fire and...I don't want to talk about it!

"Sooo what now?"I asked Jasper.

"Oh I know!"Jasper exclaimed.

*Ten Minutes L8r*

"Wow Jasper I didn't know you knew how to make a bomb at of beauty products!"I exclaimed.

"Yeah it was easy!"Jasper told me.

"Lets go set it off in a Toilet!"I told Jasper.

"Yeah!".

*Two Minutes L8r*

Okay now all we have to do is push the button and-

"Okay guys time to go"Rosalie said.

"Aww but we were having fun"I whined but Rosalie was already walking away.

We followed after her.

*At Cullen House*

Rosalie really looked at us for the first time"WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO!".

**END**

**Funny?**

**Please Review ;-)**

*Weeks l8r after Ulta visit**Emmett POV*

Hey a detonator! I wonder what it goes too?

Oops!

**Love:MT ;-)**


	6. SuperRandomWTFs!:Confessabear

**I am sorry I took soooo long...It just took me forever to think about what Bella could say!**

**Shout outs!:TO EVERY ONE!THANK YOU!.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: What the heck?!**

**WHY WAS I TALKING TO A **

**FORTUNE COOKIE?!**

**Mango:I have no idea!**

**Me: *Stares at the Mango Fruit***

**I'm F'ed up and I also DO NOT own The Twilight Saga.**

Emmett/Bella/Jasper.

SuperRandomWTFs!Confessabear.

(Emmett POV.)

"Damn Jasper I'm running out of ideas for home videos..."I sighed.

We were hanging around the shack trying to figure out what to do next.

"Hmm...Lets watch sponge bob!"Jasper said.

"Yeah okay"I pitched in while walking towards the TV.

The Confessabear episode was on, huh I got it!

"Emmett what did you think of?"Jasper wanted to know.

"Hey how did you know I had an idea?Are you a mind reader too?"I asked.

"No you said *I Got It!* aloud"Jasper answered.

"Oh..."

"Emmett you're plan?"Jasper said impatiently.

"Okay okay jeez!"I said.

"Emmett!"

"What?!"

"You're plan?!"

"What about it?!"

"Emmett!"

"What?!"

"You don't have a plan do you?..."

"No.."

"Oh"

"Want to keep watching the Confessabear episode now?"

"Yeah sure"Jasper answered and we turned back to the TV.

"Hey Jasper, lets make a Confessabear."I said.

"Okay".

*One hour L8r*

"Okay we have a confessabear, now what"Jasper asked me.

We both looked at each other at the same time"BELLA!".

___

*Somewhere deep in a far away Forest*(Edward POV.)

I shivered.

"Edward whats wrong?"Rosalie asked.

"I..don't...know...Rose"I answered.

I don't know...

___

(Bella POV.)

I was sitting happily in the living room of my house, when there was a knock on the door.

"Hello?"I answered.

"HEY BELLA I GOT YOU A PRESENT!"Emmett boomed.

"Uh thanks Emmett?"I said uncertainly.

Emmett shoved a poorly wrapped box in my arms, "No problem! Well got to go bye!"Emmett said quickly before taking off.

Okay that was weird...

I looked down at the box.

"Hmm...I wonder whats in this thing"I mumbled,while slowly unwrapping the box.

I opened it only to find a teddy bear, "aww its so cute"I thought ,right when a piece of paper slipped out of its paw.

Hmm...A note?

(Note:  
Hey Bella I got this just for you!  
Its a confessabear,  
you can tell it all your deep dark secrets!  
Hope you love it and tell your secrets to  
it or I'll be sad...  
LOVE EMMETT!)

Aww Emmett can be sweet...Sometimes...Rarely...

Okay I'm suspicious, why did he give me a Confessabear?

I stood up with the bear still in my arms and went to my room there I threw the bear on my bed, then walked out.

*L8r that night*

I laid down in my bed and saw the cute little bear just sitting their looking lonely, sighing I grabbed it and cuddled with it.

"Hmm...Your so cute"I said drowsily.

right before I fell asleep I thought I saw its eyes turn red...

___

*Camera/Audio bear*(Bella's voice)

"No...swimmy...and...goldy...Don't...butterFLYS!...I..wonder..why...jasper...goes..to..ah male...strip..club...I...mean...jass..isn..gay..."Bella mumbled.

___

*Next day*(Emmett POV.)

I listened to the audio we had received from the bear.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"I couldn't stop laughing!

I looked behind me and Jasper had a horrified face on.

I started laughing harder!

"Emmett..."Jasper warned.

"Hmm?"I answered.

"GIVE ME THAT FUCKING TAPE!".

**To be continued...At some point.**

**__________________________________**

**Funny?REVIEW!**

**Luv:Mango**

___


	7. MessingWithLife!:Pound

**I thought I'd make up for taking soooo long by giving you guys two chapters to day!**

**Shout Outs!:JasperSAYSrelax123(Thanks you kinda inspired me for this chapter!Kinda...)SnAp(Lurv Ya!)**

**Courtney(I would write your pro name but I'm too lazy!) Everybody who are reading this story(THANK You sooo much!It means a lot to me!).**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: Damn I need to come up with more Disclaimers...**

**Mango:You got that right!**

**Me:*Almost pukes* Gawd Mango your not looking or smelling too good...**

**Moldy Mango:What?I feel Fine!**

**Me:*Hides trash bag behind back* Sure...**

**I DO NOT own The Twilight Saga.**

**MessingWithLife!: The Pound.**

Bella/Everyone.

(Bella POV.)

"Char-I mean Dad, I don't want a Pet!"I whined.

Charlie thinks that I would enjoy a pet, so he's taking me to the pound to pick out a animal...

"I think it will be good for you"Charlie replied.

I sighed.

*At pound*

I looked at every thing except for the Dogs and Cats,

in the dog section, I saw the cutest little puppy that reminded me of Jacob!

He sat there staring at me with big eyes, Aww!

But then right when I was about to say I wanted this one, a lady was carrying a little Kitten to the back room"Whats wrong with the Kitten?"I said aloud.

The women stopped"Oh uhh nothing!His the sweetest thing in the world!But nobody has claimed him...We have to put him down"The Women said sadly.

"Aww, I take him!"I couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

The Women Smiled"You have a big heart!"She told me.

*Back at house*

The kitten who is black and fluffy with orange eyes, sat on my lap, he was adorable!

Started walking around on my bed, when he walked over to the teddy bear Emmett got me he started hissing and clawing at it"Whats wrong kit?"I asked.

Standing up I grabbed the bear and threw it in my closet"All right its gone"I said to the kitten.

Who was all curled up and sleeping, I laid down next to it and fell asleep.

*Night Time when Edward comes*(Edward POV.)

I climbed through the window, careful not to disturb my Bella.

I walked around her and heard Hissing, I looked down to see a little kitten, I smiled at it.

It continued to hiss, then it stood and started circling around Bella,

I chuckled slightly at the little scrap and picked it up.

It went Crazy!

Hissing growling,Biting,Scratching, I lost grip of it for a second and it got free, it ran up my arm and started attacking my face.

(Bella POV.)

I woke up to find Edward wrestling with the kitten,"Whats goin on?!"I asked groggily.

The kit hopped of Edward and into my lap, still hissing it glared at Edward.

I looked up at Edward and Laughed.

Edward gave a grimace before jumping out the window.

Charlie walked in"Bella whats so funny?"

"Nothing..."I answered.

**To be Continued...At some point.**

**________________________________________________**

**Review Dang it!**

**Luv:Mango.**


	8. Supershort!:Not

**Yeah this isn't a chapter! **

**Its a Notice!**

**SnappleApple450 and I have made a Joint account!**

**TheGoodGirlMasquerade**

**Check it out or I'll send that demented Kitten on you!**

**Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!**


	9. SuperShort!:Project Shut Up

**OMG I've been getting soooo many reviews and its soooo nice ;-D**

**Shout outs: Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: *Burying Mango in a ditch***

**Police guy: *Sneaks up on me Ninja Style* Ma'am What are you doing?**

**Me: *Jumps and tries to hide shovel* Umm Nothing?**

**Police Guy: Ma'am is that a body bag?**

**Me: No!Why would you say that?!**

**Police Guy: Ma'am may I take a look at the suspicious Bag?**

**Me: No! I have allergy's!**

**Police Guy: Ma'am STEP AWAY FROM THE BAG!**

**Me: Okay Okay!*Whacks Police Guy on head***

**Police Guy: *Crumbles to ground unconscious***

**Me: Shiit...**

**SuperShorts!: Project Shut Up!**

**___**

(Third POV.)

Emmett, Jasper and Edward were sitting on the couch lazily flipping through channels, when The females of the house came running in.

"Give us the clicker" Rosalie commanded Emmett.

Emmett gave up the remote with hesitation.

"Good boy" Rosalie told him before sitting down with the girls.

Project Runway came up on the screen a few minutes later. All the guys grumbled while the girls squealed.

They watched about five minutes into the show before the quiet was broken...

"That guys gay, that guys gay, that guys gay" Emmett said every time a guy popped up on the screen. "Shut up Emmett!" The girls all screamed at once. "Fine Fine" Emmett muttered. "That guys gay" Jasper said.

"He's not gay! He has a wife!" Bella growled. "Shuuuurrrre" The Guys replied. All the Girls gave the guys dirty looks. Emmett started laughing "Man if looks could kill!" He got out between gasps.

The women were not amused and Emmett shut up immediately.

"That Dress is Ugly!" Emmett yelled.

"Nuh uh!" Alice said.

"Yuh huh!" Emmett shot back.

"Nuh uh!"

"Yuh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Yuh uh!"

"ITS NOT UGLY!" Alice screamed.

"Fine what ever." Emmett surrendered.

Alice did a victory dance.

_Ten Minutes L8r_

"Eh-" Was all Emmett got out before he was thrown out of the house.


	10. MessingWithLife!: Poptarts

**Hey peoplez! **

**Shout outs: Thank you, for reading!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: *Dragging Police Guy* Crap...Why did I have to attack the freaking Cop?**

**Mango Ghost: Why did You have to throw me away?!!!**

**Me: Why do you think, you rotten piece of fruit!**

**Mango Ghost: *Grumbles*.**

**Me: Oh shut up and help me with this cop!**

**Mango Ghost: Uh I KNOW! Tie him up at your house and make sure he won't talk!**

**Me: *Stares at Mango Ghost disbelievingly* Mango that's a GREAT IDEA!**

**I do Not own the Twilight Saga.**

**____________**

PopTart!

(Bella POV.)

Edward, Emmett and I, sat in my kitchen, the boys were waiting for me, so we could go to school, I was getting dressed and Emmett kept popping in, Finaly I asked Emmett to go make me a poptart.

(Emmett POV.)

"Okay!" I said while running down the stairs and into the kitchen.

In the kitchen I looked in the cabinets for POP tarts, Hmm..."Heeeeyyyy Beeellllaaaa! What do Poptarts look like?!" I yelled.

"They're in a blue box and They say Poptarts!" Bella responded.

Okay, blue box, I can do this.

Shuffling through the pantry, I finally find the Blue box with Poptarts on the label"Hey Beeeelllaaaaaaa! I found the poptarts what now?!" I asked.

"EMMETT READ THE INTRUCTIONS!" Bella responded.

"Jeeze" I muttered.

Okay...Psh Bella's an idiot, she can eat the Poptarts as they are! "Bella you do know you can eat the poptarts as they are right?!" I yell.

"MAKE ME A WARM Poptart!" Screamed.

Wow, somebodies PMSing...

Okay step one- Remove pastry from pouch...

I grab the box and remove the pastry from the pouch, I look back and forth between the instructions and the pastry making sure that thats how its supposed to be, Okay I think I know where they're going with this...

Step two- Warm pastry in toasting appliance at lowest or lightest heat setting for one heating cycle only.

........

Wait, Lowest or Lightest....Lowest or Lightest....UGH I HATE PRESSURE! So does that mean that I can't cook a poptart twice?

Okay I can do this!

Emmett puts poptarts in Toaster and turns it on.

"YES!" Emmett yelled doing a dance before running up the stairs to tell Bella.

_____

(Third POV.)

The toaster caught on fire because it was left unattended...

**END.**

**_________________________**

**LOVE YA AND PLEASE REVIEW!**

**-MT**

**P.S. these are real instructions...**


	11. MessingWithLife!: Cullen's Meet Kitty!

**Did ya miss Me?! Hehe I'm back to writing this story! Whooop! **

**Shout Out: To everybody! THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: *At grocerie store* Huh, what do cops eat...**

**"Ghost" Mango: JUSTICE!**

**Me: O_O I don't know where to buy that...**

**"Ghost" Mango: Oh...**

**Me: Mango's are Tasty!**

**"Ghost" Mango: *Glares* THAT'S CALLED CANNIBALISM!!!**

**Me: No, if YOU eat a Mango its Cannibalism, if I eat it its called...Frugivor...ism...**

**"Ghost" Mango: *Glares***

**Me: What?! Its a real word! I think...**

**I do Not own the Twilight Saga, or lost tapes... I might own Frugivorism ;-)**

Messing With Life!: Cullen's Meet Kitty!

Emmett was just sitting around playing with Rosalie's Barbie dolls, when Bella and Edward walked through the door, Emmett hopped up and down happily and ran too Bella's figure, ready to hug her, You could just Imagine them on a beach with Cheesy music playing in the back ground.

But something was wrong, instead of grabbing a soft warm Bella, he had grabbed a small thing with Claws, "Ow, Ow, OW, OW, OW!!!" Emmett would yell louder and louder each time the Kitten would scratch him.

"WHAT THE F**** IS THIS THING?!!" Emmett yelled.

Bella Glared at Emmett and screamed "YOUR HURTING KITTY EMMETT!".

Alice had just walked into the room laughing, but suddenly Emmett threw Kitty at Alice and Kitty started attacking her.

"EEEEEEK!!! ITS RUINING MY CLOTHES WITH FUR AND CLAW PUNCTURES!!!" Alice Screamed, looking for a gun to shoot the kitten down.

Suddenly Kitty jumped off Alice and ran into Carlisle's office...

Everybody stood their shocked, untill it hit them...CARLISLE HAS EXPENSIVE ANTIQUES IN HIS OFFICE!!! Everybody -Bella, Alice, Emmett, Edward- Ran into the Office, Bella heard a crash and she turned to see!

That Emmett had touched a vase...Alice, Bella and Edward glared at Emmett, who smiled and tried to scoot the broken vase behind the book case.

They heard a scratching noise and everybody looked up, Kitty was on Carlisle's Gazillion Billion year old painting...'Huh it smells like old people' everybody except Bella -Who has Crappy human senses- Thought, before turning their attention to Kitty.

Kitty was scratching the Vampire's in the paintings eyes.

"NOOOOOOOOOO FREAKY PEACE OF SOOT, NOOOOOO!" Yelled Emmett.

"COME DONE HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU!" Yelled Alice.

"KIIIIIITYYYYYYY!" Cried Bella.

Hey, where's Edward?

(Secret Camera in Edwards room POV.)

Edward was huddled in a corner of his room mumbling "No place like home, No place like home..." again and again...

(Back to Carlisle's Office)

...(Static)...

"HERE KITTY KITTY!"

(Cat screeching in back ground)

"BANANA, BANANA!"

"DIE, DIE DIE!"

"HISSSSSSSSSS!"

"I'M A LITTLE TEA POT, SHORT AND STOUT!"

"MEOOOOW!!!"

"P-P-P-POKER FACE, P-P-POKER FACE!!!"

"HERRRRRRRRRRRRE KITTY!!!"

...(Static)...

**(This has been an episode of Lost Emmett Tapes)**

**End.**

**Reviw Please!**

**-MT**


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